


Burning For You

by Aria_Lerendeair



Series: Love Letters [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec loves him anyways, Angst with a Happy Ending, Immortal Husbands, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus can be a self-sacrificing idiot, Miscommunication, Panic Attacks, Protective Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:08:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20488637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: All actions have consequences, even saving a life.  Magnus faces the consequences of the spell he used to save Alec, and Alec finds himself with a choice to make that isn't a choice at all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Last installment of the "Love Letters" series - there will be smut at the end! 
> 
> Hold on to your butts and enjoy!

“I’m going to kill him when he wakes up,” Catarina muttered for what felt like the hundredth time in the past forty-eight hours as she eyed Magnus and Alec curled together on the bed. 

Izzy looked up from where she was sitting on Alec’s other side and watched Catarina. “So you’ve mentioned. But you’ve yet to say why.” 

Catarina sighed and rubbed her face tiredly. She had still yet to recover from draining her magic to bring Magnus  _ and _ Alec back from the brink of death that they had been hovering on. If Lorenzo and Alannia hadn’t felt the explosion of Magnus’ magic on the docks and come to investigate, she never would have been able to save them both. It had taken all three of them, and a blood transfusion to ensure they’d both live to see another day. 

That was, if the Shadowhunters didn’t figure out what Magnus had done to keep Alec’s soul tethered to this world. She blew out a hard breath and looked at Isabelle, standing on Alec’s other side. “Warlock thing,” she muttered, rubbing her forehead. She needed to rest, and she couldn’t leave Madzie with the sitter again. 

“I’m only going to let you get away with that excuse because I know you’re exhausted from healing my brother,” Izzy said, glancing over at Catarina, who was glaring at her. She smiled. “I grew up with a man who has made glaring his primary past time and I’m the daughter of Maryse and Robert Lightwood. Glaring ain’t gonna get you anywhere with me.” 

Catarina huffed out a laugh despite herself. She did forget, she actually liked Isabelle Lightwood. She looked back down at Alec and Magnus and sighed. 

“Come on. What gives? You’ve swung between angry, upset and happy for two days straight and I’m getting whiplash here,” Izzy prompted, watching Catarina’s eyes flick up to her. 

“What do you know of blood magics?” Catarina asked her instead. 

Izzy blinked before clearing her throat. “They’re powerful. Dangerous. Can be used to summon greater demons, or, corrupt the ley lines.” 

“Indeed,” Catarina agreed. “They are powerful, and dangerous.” She took a deep breath. “But they are not, inherently, evil.” 

Izzy raised both her eyebrows. “Uh-huh. So why am I getting the feeling that my brother-in-law pulled some shit he wasn’t supposed to?” 

Catarina resisted the urge to smile again and nodded. “Blood magic is the deepest kind of magic. If you have someone’s blood, you have  _ them _ . We are taught from a very young age to never perform these magics, because the level of conviction required to perform them correctly is...it borders on fanatical.” 

Izzy whistled and looked back down at the two men on the bed, curling towards each other, even when unconscious. “So that’s what Magnus did?” 

Catarina huffed, staring down at the two men. “And then some. Magnus tied his magic to Alec’s life force and, quite literally, kept him anchored in the world of the living.” 

“Sounds like Alec owes him the world’s best blowjob after that,” Izzy muttered, looking at Catarina with a raised eyebrow. 

“Alec, when he wakes up-” Catarina paused and looked at Isabelle with a frown. “This does not leave this room.” 

Izzy raised her hands at the immediately hostile look. “I’m not telling anyone.” 

“Not even Clary or his Parabatai,” Catarina stressed. 

Izzy nodded again. “It will not leave my lips.” 

“Alec will have a choice when he wakes up,” Catarina said, her voice soft. “I only pray that Magnus knows what he has done.” 

Isabelle walked over to Catarina’s side and gave her shoulder a squeeze, managing a small smile. “If I know my brother, he’ll make the right choice without even meaning to. Don’t worry.” 

Catarina nodded and looked back to the two on the bed. She could only pray that Isabelle was right and Magnus had not signed his own death sentence. 

~!~

Magnus woke slowly, his magic sluggish and still burning a bit. He could still feel the residual touches of Catarina, Lorenzo and…had that been Alannia? What had she been doing there? 

At least he could feel his own magic slowly replenishing, though much slower than usual, the tension from earlier fading from his body. He opened his eyes and let the last of the worry disappear. 

_ Alexander.  _

He’d made it in time. Magnus leaned in closer and pressed their foreheads together, reveling in the feel of Alec’s hair brushing against him. The paleness was gone, and Alexander’s skin was its normal healthy tone. He breathed out slowly, letting his eyes flutter shut. Alexander would be all right and he…well. He would savor the time he had left. 

“I know you’re awake,” Catarina said, keeping her voice soft. 

Magnus hummed and turned his head towards her. She was scared. He reached out to pat her arm. “Thank you.” 

Catarina huffed, squeezing his shoulder. “It took all three of us to keep you here. Pumping magic into you, because you’d tied all of yours to him.” 

Magnus sighed, looking up at her. “Angry at me?” 

“Furious,” Catarina whispered. “And I’m going to yell at you properly back at my place.” 

Magnus frowned. “I’m not leaving Alexander.” 

Catarina softened, for just a moment. “I need to see Madzie. She’s had a sitter for almost two days straight while I’ve been here.” 

Magnus grunted and pushed himself upright, kissing Alexander’s hand before resting it on the bed. “Not long,” he said, looking at her. 

“Not long,” Catarina agreed, swallowing hard. If she looked, she could see the bond between them, unreciprocated and draining Magnus, even now. 

Magnus nodded and swung his legs over the edge of the bed as the door opened. Isabelle stepped through and Magnus leaned into her the second she wrapped him in a hug. 

“Magnus, thank the angel. After the explosion, we didn’t know what had happened, and-“ 

“Shhh,” Magnus managed, gesturing to Alexander. “I’ll tell you all about it later. Keep an eye on your brother for me?” 

Izzy frowned. “Where are you going?” 

Magnus looked up at Catarina and gave a rueful smile. “Need a potion at her place and she needs to see her kid. I’ll be back as soon as we’re done.” 

Izzy relaxed and went to sit on the other side of Alec with a nod. “Hurry back.” 

Magnus nodded again and followed Catarina through the portal. The increased distance immediately sent waves of pain through his chest and he gasped, stumbling and grabbing the arm of the couch. 

“Mommy, Uncle Magnus!” Madzie called, running towards them. 

Magnus was grateful when Catarina caught Madzie up in a tight hug so he could sink down onto the couch, breathing through the pain that was slowly receding. He caught a few words as Catarina walked into the other room, mentioning how he wasn’t feeling well and she needed to heal him. 

When she came back towards the couch, Magnus waited until he felt her cast a silencing spell around them before he opened his eyes again to take in her betrayed expression. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

Catarina took a deep breath. “Isabelle Lightwood called me after you left. Because she thought I could help.” 

Magnus sighed, watching his closest friend in the world pace back and forth. 

“I could only guess at what happened. But the first time your power erupted, every warlock in Manhattan felt it,” Catarina said, watching Magnus’ eyes widen. “And it wasn’t just a spike. It erupted and stayed there.” She shook her head. “I’ve never felt anything like that in my life.” 

“I’m sorry,” Magnus offered. He could vaguely remember being lost to the maelstrom his magic had created around him, focused on only one goal - saving Alexander. 

Catarina shook her head. “Alannia and Lorenzo were at the docks moments after I came with the other Shadowhunters. We were afraid we’d have to…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish the thought that they had come to stop Magnus if it had been required. 

Magnus sighed. “I can see why that would have been the concern.” 

“Imagine our surprise, upon walking into the warehouse, that we see you saying the last words of a blood binding ritual.” Catarina clenched her hands at her sides. “Your magic was  _ gone _ Magnus. All of it was in him, keeping him alive. If I hadn’t-“ she cut herself off and took another deep breath. 

“I had to, Catarina,” Magnus whispered. “I could never have lived with myself knowing that that could have saved him.” 

Catarina glared at him, blinking hard around the tears. “The unreciprocated bond is going to kill you!” 

Magnus gave a small smile. “But Alexander will live. That is what matters.” 

“Magnus you have to tell him! You have to give him the chance to-“ 

Magnus shook his head. “Alexander has made his thoughts on being immortal explicitly clear, Catarina. I will not have him-“ 

“What,” Catarina snapped. “Changing his mind to save your life?” 

“Sacrificing something he does not want to give,” Magnus corrected. It did hurt to think that Alexander did not want immortality, but who could blame him? Watching your loved ones die as the years went by was a horrific experience, as he well knew. 

“So you’re going to make him watch you die!?” Catarina shouted. “Magnus, you’re being a fool, you have to tell him, and maybe we-”

“Maybe what?” Magnus snapped, surging to his feet with a level of energy he didn’t feel. “Maybe attempt a ritual that has a high potential of killing him because he’s not a warlock and has no magic to tie back to me? Maybe watch him die trying to save me because he doesn’t-” his voice broke and he sank back down on the couch, holding his head in his hands. 

Catarina sighed and knelt down in front of Magnus. “Magnus. Look at me.” 

Magnus sighed and dropped his hands, not bothering with the glamour either. “What?” He whispered, his voice flat. 

“While I am terrified for you, for both you and Alec, there is one thing I have no doubt of, Magnus,” Catarina said, reaching out to brush some of Magnus’ hair out of his face. 

“There is no doubt in my mind, absolutely  **none,** that Alexander believes in you and how he feels about you enough to complete his half of the ritual.” She smiled at Magnus. “That boy thinks you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. He’s changing his entire world for you, because of you, and how he feels about you.” Catarina met Magnus’ sad eyes with another smile. 

“His love for you is changing the world for all of us, Magnus. I promise you. It’s strong enough.” 

Magnus sighed. “I can’t ask that of him. I can’t.” 

Catarina reached out and wrapped her arms around Magnus, holding him tight, even when his shoulders began to shake. 

It wasn’t until both of their phones buzzed that Catarina allowed an interruption. She opened her phone and looked up at Magnus. “Alec is awake and asking for you.” 

Magnus took a deep breath and looked up at Catarina. “How do I look?” He joked weakly. 

Catarina huffed. “Gorgeous as always, of course.” 

Magnus knew he looked horrible, smudge resistant eyeliner aside. “Liar,” he whispered, watching Catarina conjure a portal for him. 

“Go talk to him Magnus. Please,” Catarina begged, watching him pause outside the portal, tilting his head. She looked around him and watched Magnus listen in to Alec and Isabelle talking. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec finds out exactly what Magnus has done.

When Alec finally blinked awake, he was expecting pain. That was the last thing he could remember. And Magnus’ voice. But instead, there was no pain, and only an uncomfortable bed in the Institute infirmary. 

“Alec!” 

Izzy’s voice had him smiling and relaxing, sinking back onto the bed. She’d made it out. “Izzy.” 

Izzy sagged in relief and grinned at him. “You scared us, you asshole.” 

Alec pushed at the bed and tried to lift himself up properly, looking down at his arms. He blinked in surprise when there weren’t any scars. Which meant warlock healing. A lot of it. He narrowed his eyes at Izzy. 

“Where’s Magnus?” 

Izzy smiled at him. “He had to go with Catarina for a little bit. Trust me, he didn’t want to leave. But she couldn’t leave Madzie. He’ll be back as soon as they’re done.” 

Alec exhaled hard and leaned back against the pillows. He needed to see Magnus with his own eyes, make sure he was all right. “He’s okay?” 

“He’s…” Izzy opened her mouth and shut it. “He’ll be okay. He…” she hesitated. 

Alec’s eyes narrowed. “He what?” 

Izzy sighed and handed her brother the report on the dock incident, watching as he skimmed it, flipping through the pictures quickly as she sent messages to Magnus and Catarina, letting them know Alec was awake.

“What happened after he blew up the warehouse?” Alec asked. “Because I don’t remember that happening.” 

“You’ll have to ask him,” Izzy said. “But Alec, the power he exhibited. It’s…” 

Alec chuckled, leaning back. “I know. Probably scared the shit out of all of you, huh?” 

“You don’t understand,” Izzy said, smoothing out the blankets next to him. “The warlocks, Lorenzo, they thought he’d…” she swallowed and sighed. “He would have torn down all of New York if it meant getting to you.” 

Alec hummed, closing his eyes, a faint smile on his lips. “I know.”

Izzy frowned, narrowing her eyes at her brother. “That doesn’t scare you?” 

Alec opened an eye, looking back at Izzy. “No. Why should it? I’d do the same for him if I had to.” 

“Alec-” 

“Izzy,” Alec interrupted, sitting up with a grunt of pain to look at her. “Listen to me. Loving someone means loving all of them. I know you know that, but I don’t think you’ve really thought about what it means.” 

Izzy bit down on her lip. 

“I love Magnus, Izzy. I love him, and I will spend the rest of my life with him. I will fight those that try to keep us apart, and I will always,  _ always _ accept him for who he is, because he has done the same for me.” Alec met her worried eyes and smiled. He looked down at the report and gave it a firm pat. “That includes when he comes to rescue me and levels everything in his path to do it.” 

Izzy sighed, looking at her brother. “Alec, but you have to understand-” 

“Did anyone get hurt? Besides the people who’d taken me?” Alec asked, opening the report again, scanning for casualties.

“I, no, no one was hurt besides your captors,” Izzy said, then snorted. “What was left of them, anyway.” 

Alec grinned. “So the report is wrong. Magnus was perfectly in control the entire time. If he was that unhinged, there would have been casualties. He’s powerful, Izzy, and he keeps so much of that power restrained. You just saw it for the first time.” 

Izzy smiled and looked down at the report, taking it from Alec. “I’ll have the report corrected immediately.” 

“Thanks Iz,” Alec said, closing his eyes. “Did Magnus say he’d be back soon?” 

Magnus took that as his cue to walk through the portal, not wanting the siblings to realize he had been eavesdropping on them, his heart pounding at the steady, easy confidence Alec had displayed in him, in what had happened. “Well, now that is perfect timing if I’ve ever heard it.” 

Alec sat up, pulling muscles that immediately protested. “Magnus!” He studied the warlock carefully, but he looked all right, albeit a bit tired. 

“Alexander,” Magnus relaxed, the pain from the stretched bond receding. He stepped closer and chuckled when Alexander obviously moved back on the bed, intending him to once again join him. 

“Get in here,” Alec ordered, relaxing when Magnus didn’t fight it, only climbed into the bed with him and curled close. He must have been much more tired than he was letting on. He moved closer and wrapped an arm around Magnus and nuzzled into his hair. “You okay?” 

His heart pounded hard as he cuddled into Alexander, savoring the closeness of Alec like this. “I will be. A certain Shadowhunter scared me half to death.” 

“Don’t worry,” Alec whispered. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” 

Magnus reached out, tangling his fingers in Alec’s shirt, holding onto him tightly as he nodded, closing his eyes. That was far, far from the problem. 

~!~

Two days later, Alec knew something was wrong. In the past, when Magnus had drained himself, it had taken him a day to recover (in addition to his usual hot bath, medium rare steak and a few drinks). Now, he was still moving sluggishly as though it had been mere hours since he’d performed the healing. Magnus had brushed it off a dozen times, even getting angry when he’d brought it up again, but Alec couldn’t shake the certainty that something was wrong. 

It had taken him a little bit of time to find the rune he needed, but now that he had the start to the answers, it was time to find someone who could finish them off. He pulled out his phone and dialed. 

“Catarina Loss.” 

Alec took a deep breath. “Catarina, it’s Alec, Alec Lightwood.” A sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone told him that he had called the right person. 

“Is Magnus-” 

“He’s okay,” Alec interrupted, not wanting her to worry, though this confirmed that something was truly wrong. Catarina had been waiting for his call, for news that wasn’t positive. “Well, he’s not. But he hasn’t gotten worse, he’s still just tired.” 

“I see,” Catarina said, clenching her hand around the phone. Magnus might have a week left, if he was lucky. “Why have you called me? Does the Institute need something?” 

Alec cleared his throat. “I’m not calling you as the head of the Institute, Catarina. I’m calling as Magnus’ terrified husband. He won’t tell me what’s wrong, but he’s not getting better. And you, you were clearly expecting a call from me. What is going on?” 

Catarina exhaled hard. “It isn’t my place to tell you, Alec. It’s his.” 

“And if he never tells me?” Alec shot back. “What happens?” 

“I can’t…” Catarina swallowed. “I am not sure you want the answer to that question, Alec.” 

Alec tightened his hand on his phone, dread settling deeper into his stomach. “It’s that bad?” 

Catarina took a deep breath. If Magnus wasn’t ever going to tell Alec, he’d never have a chance to fix things. Even if Magnus never forgave her, he would at least be alive if she told Alec what he had done. 

“Catarina, please,” Alec whispered. Her silence didn’t bode well, but dammit he was going to try!

“By the time,” Catarina took a deep breath. “By the time Magnus got to you, Alec, you were going to die. He couldn’t stop it. His magic isn’t made for healing. He can do it, of course, but his magic is not made for that.” 

Alec closed his eyes and reminded himself to keep breathing. “What did he do?” 

“We call it a blood binding ritual,” Catarina explained quietly. “In this case, it was an extreme example of that even. When I got there with two other warlocks, we…” she paused, swallowing hard as she remembered the sight that had greeted her. Magic pouring in a never-ending wave out of Magnus and into Alec. 

“I watched him utter the final words of the spell, and his magic was gone. All of it,” Catarina said. “And I mean all, Alec. All of it had been given one purpose, and one purpose only. To keep you alive.” 

Alec sucked in a hard breath and pressed a hand to his heart. 

“It took the combined effort of the three of us to keep you both alive,” Catarina said. “Myself and Lorenzo pouring magic into Magnus, and Alannia healing you.” 

“It sounds,” Alec managed. “Like I owe all three of you a debt I cannot repay.” 

Catarina smiled. “You aren’t wrong. But that ritual, isn’t meant to be used like that.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s meant to create a bond between two individuals,” Catarina explained. “It is one of the few ways to make a mortal, immortal. But it’s dangerous. It requires a level of conviction that, that very few can commit to.” 

Alec sucked in a hard breath. “But he, we-” he cut himself off. “I’m sorry. Continue.” 

“If that bond,” Catarina started. “That he formed with you by doing his half of the ritual, is not reciprocated with your half…” 

“By the angel,” Alec swore, his face going ashen. “It’s going to  _ kill _ him?” 

Catarina paused before sighing. “Yes.” 

Alec cursed again, pacing across the loft, anger simmering in his veins. “He, he, he was going to die, rather than ask me to, fuck!” 

“Alec,” Catarina interrupted. “He knows you don’t want to be immortal. He doesn’t want to force you into anything you don’t want.” 

“So he’d rather die?!” Alec shouted. Silence on the other end of the phone told him his answer. He took a deep, fortifying breath, his mind racing. “How long does he have?” 

“A week, maybe,” Catarina said, her voice quiet. 

Alec closed his eyes, pain and fear rocketing through him. “A week. And I never would have known.” He shook himself. “No point in thinking about that. I know, now, and I’m not letting that happen.” 

Catarina couldn’t help her smile at that proclamation. 

“Catarina,” Alec focused, his mind racing. “I need all of the possible information you have on that ritual. As soon as you can. We can discuss price after.” 

“No price,” Catarina said immediately. “Not for saving my best friend.” 

Alec smiled. “All right. Can I do anything in the meantime to help?” 

“The bond hurts more with distance until it’s reciprocated. The closer you can stay to him, the better.” 

“I can do that.” 

Catarina tightened her hand on the phone. “Good luck, Alec.” 

Alec laughed. “Thanks, I’m definitely going to need that.” He took another deep breath. “I’ll talk to you soon.” 

Hanging up the phone, Alec stuffed it back into his pockets and exhaled, hard. He dropped his head into his hands. A week. Magnus could have died in a week and he never would have known. 

But now he knew. Now he knew and he could stop it. He pulled out his phone and looked at it for a long moment, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to do. 

~!~ 

Two days later, Alec was ready. Now it was a matter of getting Magnus to have the conversation. After his shift at the Institute, he headed to the loft, trying to be mindful of Catarina’s warnings about staying as close to Magnus as possible. 

He knocked softly on the door before letting himself in. Magnus had altered his wards to allow him entry no matter what time he was able to come by. It never failed to make him blush when he thought about it. 

“Magnus?” he called, stepping into the living room after he’d kicked his boots off and left them by the door. Walking into the living room, he found Magnus reclining on the couch, his eyes closed, clearly asleep. Alec smiled at the sight before he realized just how exhausted Magnus looked. The unreciprocated bond was starting to take its toll. 

Alec knelt beside the couch, slowly moving the book off of Magnus’ lap and marked his page before looking back at the warlock. He smiled again and got his arms hooked behind Magnus’ knees and his shoulders, lifting him easily. It was easy to arrange him so Magnus’ head was tucked against his neck. 

Alec was halfway across the room when he felt Magnus stir. 

“Alexander?” 

Alec kissed the top of Magnus’ head and smiled. “The one and only, sleepyhead.” 

Magnus yawned. “Not that I object to being carried about by you and reminded just how strong you are, Alexander, but why am I no longer on the couch?” 

“If we are taking a nap, we are doing it in bed,” Alec explained, depositing Magnus on the bed. “And I, after a frankly long and rather awful day, am rather interested in a nap before dinner.” 

“Well then,” Magnus said with a smile. “Never let it be said that I do not take proper care of my husband.” 

Alec smiled and stripped off the rest of his gear, leaving it in a pile by the bed. He watched Magnus give a lazy wave of his hand until he was in nothing more than his boxers, and didn’t miss the way it seemed to weigh on Magnus much more than normal. 

“Well, get over here and cuddle me already,” Magnus said, stretching and shifting under the covers. 

It was an easy order to obey, and Alec climbed in next to Magnus, tugging the warlock against his chest. Magnus made a quiet happy noise against him and Alec smiled, kissing the top of his head. 

“Long day?” Alec asked quietly, rubbing his hand up and down Magnus’ back. His husband only melted into him further with another grunt. 

“Better now that you’re here,” Magnus managed, letting his eyes flutter shut. Wrapped up in Alec’s arms like this, the bond barely ached at all. 

It didn’t take Magnus long to fall asleep again, slumping into his arms in exhaustion. Alec tightened his hold around Magnus and walked through the conversation that they needed to have in his head again. He could do this. He could. He had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* I'm sorry. But not really. <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Note, tags have been updated accordingly for this chapter.

Magnus didn’t know how long he slept for, but when he woke up, his whole body still ached and the exhaustion was still there. He bit down an irritated noise and stretched, pressing in closer to Alexander. At least Alec hadn’t left bed, so he wasn’t left with the pain, too. 

“Hey,” Alec whispered, dropping his tablet onto the bedside table, smiling. “Awake?” 

“Unfortunately,” Magnus groaned, pushing himself upright and out of bed. Moving even a little ways away from Alec was agony, but he was used to it now. He grabbed his robe nearby and spun to smile at Alec. “Dinner?” 

Alec slid out of bed, smiling at Magnus as he leaned in for a slow kiss. Magnus indulged him, and Alec almost pulled him back into bed before he remembered that he had a plan. “What are you in the mood for?” 

Magnus chuckled. “After that kiss? You, but I suppose I can save that for desert.” 

Alec laughed and rolled his eyes, grabbing a shirt to pull on before he padded into the kitchen. “Since you’re saving me for desert, what would you like as your precursor?” 

Magnus hummed, considering it before he lit up, spinning to face Alexander. “How about sushi from that lovely restaurant we went to in Tokyo? I’ll simply have to take you…” he trailed off when Alec winced before schooling his face into a smile. He raised both eyebrows. “Is something wrong with sushi?” 

Hearing Magnus lie so easily, when he had only a few days left to live was a type of pain Alec wasn’t prepared for. If he hadn’t known, if he hadn’t pushed, would Magnus still be standing there, pretending that everything was all right, when it was anything but?

Of all the things he expected to see, Alec’s face crumpling and tears gathering in his eyes was the last. Alarmed, Magnus immediately moved closer to him. “Alexander?” 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Alec whispered, staring at Magnus. 

Magnus froze, a step away from Alec, meeting his eyes. “Tell you what?” he managed. 

Alec closed his eyes, unable to stop a small noise of pain escaping. He wiped angrily at the tear that escaped, sliding down his cheek. 

“Alexander, what-” 

“What happened,” Alec wiped at his eyes again, opening them to stare at Magnus, his voice hoarse. “What happened to  _ ‘when things get crazy, don’t push me away’, _ huh?” 

Magnus flinched, stepping back, dropping his eyes from Alec’s. “Alexander…” 

Alec tightened his hands into fists and stood his ground, watching Magnus. Any plans for this conversation that he wanted to have were gone, because it hurt, doing nothing but standby while Magnus was  _ dying _ because his husband wouldn’t talk to him. “Answer my question,” he demanded. “Were you ever going to tell me?” 

Magnus opened his mouth to deny it again and froze under the force of Alec’s glare. He exhaled and moved to his drink cart, the familiar movements offering some comfort. “No, I wasn’t.” He paused and looked over his shoulder. “How did you find out?” 

Alec felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin in pain and anger, staring at Magnus. “You, you…” He couldn’t focus, his head was swimming and a fog was descending and he needed to be able to _think,_ he had to be able to talk to have this conversation. He shook his head, but he couldn’t breathe, and he knew tears were running down his cheeks, he had to  _ talk,  _ he had to convince Magnus not to do this, that there was another way. 

“Alec!” 

He couldn’t breathe. Magnus would, Magnus would rather  _ die _ than ask him to complete the ritual. Magnus didn’t want forever with him, and _oh,_ that realization shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. Magnus couldn’t even bring himself to say what was happening, to talk to him about it. 

“Alexander, look at me!” 

Alec was distantly aware of falling to his knees, but he still couldn’t pull in enough air, and he couldn’t see through the tears, and he was never going to convince Magnus like this. How was he going to tell Magnus that he wanted to spend forever together when his husband didn’t even want that with him? A sob escaped and he leaned forward, resting against Magnus even as he fought for control. He knew Magnus’ arms were around his shoulders and he was being held tight, that Magnus was there, even if, even if he didn’t want to be. 

“Alexander, sweetheart, breathe for me. In and out. It’s okay,” Magnus whispered, carefully brushing away the tears, even as another broken sob escaped his husband. He pulled Alec in close and held onto him as tightly as he could. 

The swell of the panic attack finally started to fade what felt like hours later and Alec sucked in a desperate deep breath, and then another, pressing his face to Magnus’ neck, the scent of sandalwood surrounding him. He wrapped both of his arms around Magnus and held onto him, tangling his fingers in the robe Magnus was wearing. 

“Alexander?” Magnus whispered, combing his fingers through Alec’s hair, feeling him shudder. “Are you back with me?” 

Alec took a deep breath and nodded, slowly. “Yeah,” he whispered. He gave Magnus another slow squeeze and pulled himself away, getting to his feet. “I’m gonna go shower. Do you mind ordering dinner while I do?” 

Magnus stared up at him and swallowed. “I, yes, of course. What do you-” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Alec managed. “Just, just don’t use your magic to conjure it, okay? Order it from some place around here and get it delivered.” 

“Okay,” Magnus agreed quietly, watching as Alec stumbled towards the bedroom, his shoulders hunched and head hanging. 

It took a matter of minutes to order Chinese food once he heard the shower turn on. He stared down at his phone and thumbed open the contacts. 

[9:19:27]: He knows. 

Catarina [9:20:18]: Good! Now talk to him about it and let him save your stubborn ass! 

[9:20:45]: I can’t. 

Catarina [9:21:27]: Can’t or won’t?

Magnus didn’t bother answering her, because it was pointless. Now that Alexander knew, he was going to demand that they complete the ritual. Not because he wanted to. Only to save his life. It’d take a few decades, maybe a century if he was lucky, but when Alexander watched his loved ones die, he’d be resented, and then Alec would leave him, because it would be his fault. All his fault. 

~!~

Alec sighed and leaned into the hot water of the shower, turning it up to scalding, his skin reddening under the heat. 

_ No, I wasn’t. _

He took a deep breath. Then another. Whatever Magnus had intended didn’t matter. He had found out. And he was going to make it right, and he was going to fucking  _ convince _ Magnus about how much of an idiot he was being. 

Alec exhaled hard and reached for the sandalwood shampoo, scrubbing his hair absently, letting the scent relax him further. His heart ached, but he wasn’t about to let this deter him from his goal. He was going to save Magnus, dammit. 

He finished his shower and put on a fresh t-shirt and boxers before heading back out to the living room. Magnus was sitting on the couch, their takeout in front of him. Alec’s heart ached at the sight of him, because he was so clearly exhausted and in pain. He made his way over and sat directly next to Magnus, reaching out to take his hand, giving it a slow squeeze, turning to press his shoulder against Magnus’. 

“Hungry?” Magnus forced himself to ask. 

“Yeah,” Alec said, keeping his voice low and quiet. He reached for the food, picking up the box with pork fried rice before leaning into Magnus again. 

Alec mechanically ate through his food, soaking up the warmth of Magnus next to him, pressing as close to him as he could, wanting to make sure his husband was in as little pain as possible. By the time they were both done, the awkward silence had become oppressive. 

“All right,” Alec sighed, taking a deep breath. “Let’s try this again, without the accusations and the panic attacks.” 

Magnus turned to look at the floor, staring down at the red carpet. “There’s-” 

“I swear to the angel if you say there’s nothing to talk about Magnus, I will tie you up and gag you to make you listen,” Alec growled, glancing over at him. Only the faintest hint of a smile appeared, but was enough, for now. 

Alec forced a deep breath. “Tell me why you wouldn’t tell me,” he demanded, keeping his voice quiet but firm. He needed to understand, to try to understand why Magnus had kept this from him. 

“I…” Magnus swallowed and cleared his throat, closing his eyes with a sigh. “You don’t want to be immortal. If you complete your half of the ritual, you would be. It, there’s no way to reverse it, it’s-” 

“Magnus,” Alec interrupted, struggling to keep his voice level. “You’re doing to me exactly what I promised to never do to you again after the mess with Asmodeus.” 

Magnus flinched. Alec was right. He’d taken away the choice, made the decision for him. Hurt them both in the process, even. “You’re right,” he admitted, hanging his head. “But that doesn’t change things. You don’t want to be immortal.” 

“Isn’t that my choice to make?” Alec asked, looking over at Magnus. 

“If,” Magnus started, pausing to take a deep breath, his heart hammering. “That was something you wanted to consider wanting, you should thoroughly think through the choice. Not make it in the span of a week, because-” 

“Because my husband saved my life and is now dying?” Alec shot back, his voice hard. 

“Precisely,” Magnus said, glancing briefly at Alec. “I couldn’t bear if you came to resent me if-” 

“I’m not going to fucking resent you, Magnus!” Alec burst out, staring at the warlock. 

Magnus didn’t say anything for a long series of minutes. “You say that now,” he whispered. 

Alec went to stand up, before he remembered that moving away from Magnus would hurt him and he sagged. “So you’d rather die? You’d rather die, than take a chance on something that probably won’t even happen?” 

“You don’t want this, Alexander,” Magnus said with a shake of his head. “I’m not going to force you-” 

“And if I do want this?” Alec interrupted. “If I do want it?” 

Magnus stood up, pacing away from Alec on the couch, before spinning to face him again. “I will not ask you to do this for me and that is the end of it, Alexander!” 

Alec sighed and stared Magnus down, letting the silence stretch between them as he stood up. “For you,” he said flatly. “Because that’s the only reason, right?” Magnus ignored him, turning towards the bar cart. 

Alec waited to see if he’d add anything else, but Magnus appeared to have made his final proclamation on the matter. He pulled out his phone and thumbed open the contact list. 

“You’re going to make a phone call now?” Magnus snapped, his eyes flashing when he turned back around. 

“No,” Alec said, pressing a number and then the call button. “I’m going to prove to you that I’m telling the truth. That I do want this.” 

Magnus scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he rolled his eyes. 

Alec waited for the call to connect and gestured towards the wall. “Could you please open a portal to Izzy’s room in Simon’s apartment?” 

Magnus frowned. “What does that-” 

“Magnus. _Please.” _

He frowned, but did as Alexander asked, following him through the portal.

  
  
“Alec?” Izzy asked, picking up the phone as soon as they were in her room. “Is everything okay?” 

“Izzy,” Alec addressed his sister as he walked through her room, opening a false drawer in her desk, pulling out an ancient book and dozens of pages of notes. “You’re on speaker phone with Magnus and I. How long have I been looking for an immortality spell?” 

Izzy sucked in a hard breath, her eyes widening as she listened to Alec shuffle through papers. She willed her voice not to shake as she answered. “You’ve been actively looking for a, a spell, or an option, for more than six months.” 

Alec looked to Magnus and watched his eyes widen in shock. He smiled sadly and looked back down at the phone. “Thanks Iz.” 

  
  
“Alec? Is everything okay?” Izzy asked, tightening her hand on her phone. “Is Magnus…?” 

“We’re sorting that out now. I’m making a bit of a point. I’ll talk to you later,” he promised and pressed the end call button, then dialed again, letting it ring on speakerphone, offering the pages of his notes to Magnus.

Magnus took the pages and gave himself a moment to admire Alexander’s thoroughness and attention to detail as he flipped through them, before the next call connected and he held his breath. 

“Alec?” Simon asked. “Is everything okay?” 

Alec met Magnus’ eyes confidently. “Everything is fine, Simon, don’t worry. But I need your help.” 

Simon sat up, his eyes turning serious. “What do you need?” 

“You’re on the phone with Magnus and I, on speaker. I need you to tell him what I was willing to do before we went to Edom for him,” Alec paused. “And the agreement I swore you to, on my sister’s life.” 

Magnus jolted at the words, the seriousness in them, and the conviction in Alexander’s eyes as they kept his and didn’t look away. 

Simon blinked. “Uh, sure. You sure you’re okay, Alec?” 

“Magnus doesn’t believe that I want to spend an immortal life with him,” Alec said, keeping it simple, because if he tried to explain anything else he wouldn’t be able to hold it together. “If he won’t believe me, I’m hoping he’ll believe all of us.” 

Magnus looked away from Alexander, his heart aching at the words, because that was the furthest thing from the truth. He wouldn’t pressure Alec into this, he couldn’t. 

“Well that’s stupid,” Simon said with a snort. “But sure. Before Clary created the Alliance Rune, you asked, well, no,  _ demanded, _ really, that I turn you into a vampire.” 

Magnus nearly choked on his next breath of air, spinning back to face Alexander, his eyes wide. 

Alec gave a small smile. “And when you said no?” 

Simon laughed, remembering how angry Alec had been with him when he’d initially refused. “Well, other than threatening to kill me, you told me that if I wouldn’t do it, you’d find another vampire that would. Because you weren’t going to leave him there alone to fight Lilith.” 

Magnus closed his eyes and jumped when Alexander’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and he was pulled in close, the phone held between them. He pressed his forehead to Alexander’s neck and tried to breathe, his heart pounding loudly. 

“The agreement I swore you to three months ago?” Alec prompted, when Simon didn’t keep talking. 

“Oh, right!” Simon cleared his throat. “You made me swear that if you hadn’t found another way, by the time you were thirty, I’d bite you and turn you. And,” Simon paused, again, chewing on his lower lip. “The only reason I agreed, was because you told me that Magnus had lost enough people in his life, and you were not going to be one of them.” 

Alec tightened his arm around Magnus and looked down at the phone. “Thanks Simon. I’ll call you later.” He ended the call and picked up the notes and book Magnus had left on the desk. 

“Portal home?” he requested, his voice soft as he reached out to touch Magnus again. 

Magnus waved his arm, conjuring the portal and let Alec pull him through it, back to their loft, his mind spinning. 

Alec put the book and the notes down on the coffee table before he strode back to Magnus and wrapped both of his arms around the warlock, shifting just enough so he could press his face to Magnus’ neck, inhaling slowly. 

“Alexander-” 

“We can call Clary next,” Alec whispered, interrupting Magnus. “And I can ask her about the permanent version of the Alliance rune I asked her to look into developing to see if we could share powers and lifespans.” He took a shaky breath and tightened his hold on his husband. 

“Then we can call my mother and she can tell you about how she didn’t like that I was pursuing this, until I explained to her that this wasn’t just about you. That it was also about the family, the kids, I want to raise with you, how I want to be there for them and watch them grow up if we end up adopting a warlock baby or three,” Alec continued, slowly sweeping a hand up and down Magnus’ back, keeping him close. 

“After that,” Alec said, when the silence in the room had grown again. “I could tell you about the conversation I had with Jace where he made me promise to look after his descendants, no matter how much trouble they got into.” 

Magnus let out a laugh that sounded like a sob, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, even when Alexander pulled back and cupped his face, staring at him with that same aching adoration that always made him fall deeper in love with him. 

“And finally,” Alec whispered, leaning in to kiss Magnus softly, pressing their foreheads together. “I would tell you about the rune I used to enhance my memory of what happened that day at the warehouse, so I could hear the blood binding spell you used.” 

Magnus went to take a step back, his mouth dropping open in shock, but Alec held him fast, the words coming whether he wanted them to or not. 

“Then,” Alec’s voice grew firm and he cleared his throat. “I would tell you, my extraordinarily stubborn husband, that when you collapsed under the stress of an unreciprocated bond, even though it is damn well  _ reciprocated _ _,”_ he growled. “I would finish the bonding ceremony you started, and spend the rest of my immortal life begging for your forgiveness. I think you’d come around after a few decades.” 

Magnus blinked in confusion. “You’d...what?” 

“You heard me,” Alec said, his voice softening. 

“I don’t,” Magnus stopped himself and frowned. “Alexander, what would I have to forgive you for?” 

Alec sighed and kept his eyes on Magnus. “I researched that spell. The blood binding one. I…” he gave a small smile, forcing himself to talk through the pain of knowing Magnus didn’t, didn’t want forever with him. 

“Magnus, if you don’t, don’t want to spend an immortal life with me, I can’t change that. I can’t. That’s your choice,” Alec whispered. 

Magnus stared in shock. Alexander thought...thought…

Alec took a deep breath, inhaling with his whole body before he exhaled and sagged. “But, you love me enough, right now, that the spell worked. I won’t, I can’t,” he felt the words catch in his throat, all of the plans he had of convincing Magnus slipping away. “I will complete my half of the spell, because I know I can. I know you’re it for me, whether in ten years, a hundred, or a thousand, Magnus.” 

Alec’s voice grew soft and hesitant again. “It’s still worth it to me. To get all the time with you that I can. Even,” he paused, chewing on his lower lip. “Even if it’s not forever, it’s so much more than I ever thought I’d get in my life.” 

“Alexander…” Magnus breathed. 

Alec’s eyes widened and he grew frantic. “I mean, I don’t,  _ fuck _ , by the angel I didn’t mean to sound like I’m, I’m guilting you or, or something!” He slumped, exhaling hard, unable to look at Magnus. 

“If you don’t want to, to, spend forever with me, I don’t, I mean, forever is, fuck, I mean, forever, but it’s your choice, always yours. I just…” Alec trailed off, his voice growing wistful. “I don’t want you to think I haven’t thought it through. That I haven’t...considered what it means. What immortality, with you, really means. And that, even with all of that, it’s still so worth it to me to spend that time with you.” 

“Alexander,” Magnus said, his voice firm. “Are you finished?” 

Alec winced and bit down on his lip. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Magnus took a deep breath and studied Alexander, the way his determination and conviction was still there, even as he thought he would be rejected. He reached up and pulled Alexander, his precious, stupid,  _ determined _ Shadowhunter into a hard, needy kiss. Alec came alive in the kiss, like he always did, his fingers clinging desperately and Magnus wasn’t ashamed to admit he was clinging just as hard, just as desperate. 

When they finally parted, panting against each other’s lips, Magnus had to give a small chuckle. Alexander had relaxed under the force of his kiss but not entirely. “I won’t make you wait until I collapse,” Magnus whispered to him. 

Alec reared back, his eyes wide. “Magnus?” 

“I mean, what do you expect me to say when you’re talking about raising children with me? Three of them, even,” Magnus huffed, staring at Alexander in exasperation. “Though I would recommend starting with one, I know you’re an overachiever, but there are some areas of life that are not meant to-mmfh!” 

Magnus smiled into the kiss he was yanked into and let Alec push him towards the bedroom. Like this, confirmed in all but action, the bond was no longer draining him, but instead filling him with a sense of quiet wonder. It was singing under his skin, urging him for more, to complete the ritual, but he wasn’t going to say no to a bit of physical affirmation first. Losing himself in the slow glide of their lips together, he almost missed the back of his knees hitting the edge of the bed before Alec tumbled him down to the blankets. 

“Not your smoothest,” Magnus teased, grinning up at Alec. 

Alec growled and leaned in for another kiss, pressing Magnus back into the pillows. “I’ll show you smooth.” 

Magnus melted into the possessive and hungry kiss, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Alec’s hair. For the first time in days he felt energized, contentment slowly settling through him like a wave, his magic no longer being drained from him. 

“Magnus?” Alec whispered, pulling back from the kiss to look down at him, slowly running his thumbs over Magnus’ cheeks. 

Magnus smiled up at Alec and raised an eyebrow. “Yes, Alexander?” 

Alec swallowed nervously. “You’re going to be okay, right?” 

“I already am,” Magnus whispered, leaning up to kiss Alec. “The magic, the bond, it _knows._ It can feel your half of it. It’s sealed in all but name, now.” 

Alec exhaled hard in relief, a tentative smile starting. “A-and I want, can we have,” he paused and took another deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. 

Magnus reached up and pushed a finger to Alexander’s lips. “Alexander. I never imagined a forever with you, because it was impossibly out of our reach, and it was not something that you wanted. Now that it’s at our fingertips…” he smiled and leaned up, pressing their foreheads together. “You’ll have to trust me when I say that this is one of the happiest days of my admittedly long life.” 

Alec grinned and leaned into another kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Alexander.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK AT THAT A+ COMMUNICATION. HELL YEAH BOYS.


	4. Chapter 4

Magnus put the finishing touches on the ritual circle and studied it with a critical eye, dusting the remainder of the chalk off of his hands. 

“You know you don’t need all of this, right?” Catarina asked, studying the circle. 

“Well,” Magnus said, walking around the circle slowly before snapping, blankets and pillows falling into a careful pile in the center surrounded by candles. “Call me cautious.” 

Catarina smiled and stopped Magnus before he could pace around the circle again. “It’s going to be fine, Magnus.” 

Magnus fidgeted for a moment, and took a deep breath, straightening his shoulders. “You don’t know-” 

“I do,” Catarina interrupted. “It’s going to be fine. I told you. This was the one part I wasn’t actually worried about.” 

Magnus nodded and gave her a grateful smile. “You’ll be on call in case we need anything?” 

“You won’t, but yes, I will,” Catarina promised him. She reached out and gave his shoulder a firm pat, summoning a portal for herself. “I’ll see you soon, Magnus.” 

Magnus watched her go and then he was alone in the room. It was ready. Now he just had to wait for Alexander to be finished. 

A knock on the door made him look up. “Yes?” 

Jace opened the door and poked his head in. “Hey. He’s putting on the last rune now. Gonna leave you to it. You need anything?” 

Magnus shook his head. “No, we’re good.” 

Jace nodded. “Good luck. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” 

He watched Jace leave, shutting the door behind him. Magnus exhaled hard and paced around the circle once more, checking and double-checking his work when the sound of the door opening made him spin around. 

His breath caught at the sight of Alexander in the doorway, an avenging angel come to earth. Wearing only black boxer briefs would normally be enough of a distraction, but like this? His eyes trailed along the runes on Alec’s legs, thighs, his chest and arms, before meeting his shadowhunter’s eyes that were damn near glowing with angelic power. 

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, anything, when Alec stalked towards him, each step ringing in the silent room. He licked his lips, his eyes tracing each of the runes, devouring the sight of Alec so blatantly  _ powerful _ and on display for him. Alec's Nephilim blood was singing with it. 

“Like what you see?” Alec teased, raising his eyebrows. 

“I think you know exactly what you do to me, my darling,” Magnus quipped. It was hard enough to keep his hands off of Alec as it was, but like this? Certainly impossible. He reached out and placed his hand over the Love rune situated over Alec’s heart. “How do you feel?” 

Alec rolled his shoulders, nodding to himself. “Ready.” 

Magnus tugged Alec down and into a kiss, glad when both of Alec’s arms came around him to hold him close. When they parted, he smiled and looked around the room. “Have what you need?” 

Alec carefully held out the runed string and smiled as they stepped into the ritual circle Magnus had drawn. “The bowstring from my bow struck me as appropriate. May I?” 

Magnus’ breath caught as he nodded and watched Alec oh-so gently wrap the bowstring around their hands, magic starting to pulse around them. Now, though, there was none of the desperation of before, when he had done his side, only calm confidence. Once their hands were tied together, he couldn’t help smiling, squeezing Alec’s hand, his heart jumping when he got a squeeze in return. 

“Palm still okay?” Alec asked, reaching out to take Magnus’ free hand in his own, cradling it carefully. 

“Yes,” Magnus whispered, watching Alec expertly handle the knife he’d offered up to use for the ritual. He took another deep breath and smiled. “Ready.” 

Alec lifted Magnus’ hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to his palm. He moved quickly and easily, slicing a thin red line across Magnus’ hand. He tossed the knife away. They didn’t need it now. He held out his palm to Magnus and smiled. “If you please?” 

Magnus nodded and with a quick motion of a finger, sliced Alexander’s palm open to match. His breath caught and he looked up at Alec. 

“I’m sure,” Alec whispered, stealing a kiss as he placed his palm beneath Magnus’ hand, watching him tilt it so the blood would drift into his open hand where blood was welling from the cut Magnus had given him. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” 

Magnus nodded and met Alec’s eyes as he felt Alec’s hand with their mixed blood wrap around their hands tied together. Both of them jolted at the sudden rush of power in the room. 

Alec smiled, focusing on Magnus’ eyes, golden and shining, desperate with hope. He relaxed, the tension leaving his shoulders. There was nothing to worry about. There never was when it came to how he felt about Magnus. 

“With my blood and thine, I tie myself to thee,” Alec chanted, refusing to look away from Magnus, even as the power started to thicken and grow heavy in the room. He could feel the power pulsing, through his runes, and now, through Magnus. “We are bound,” he paused, the magic throbbing in the room, rushing through and around him. “And forever bound shall we remain.” 

Alec smiled and stepped closer to Magnus, still staring into his eyes, pressing their foreheads together. “None shall sunder us, not  _ age, _ not  _ death, _ by all the power I possess.” 

Magnus felt the wild rush of unfettered angelic power surge around them both, reaching for his magic, to tie them together. It had to be enough, it had to be, because Alec only smiled at him, hazel eyes shining and whispered the last words of the spell. 

“This I vow, on the strength of my love for thee.” 

Silence echoed around them, and for one horrifying moment, Magnus thought it had failed. That it hadn’t been enough. That  _ they _ hadn’t been enough. But then power was rushing through him, and the bowstring around their hands was gone in a flash of gold. And now he could  _ feel  _ Alexander, the heartbeat next to his own, and the reciprocated bond, tying them both together. 

“Magnus?” Alec whispered. Magnus’ eyes were glazed over, and his gaze was far away. “Are you-” 

“It worked,” Magnus said, his voice soft with wonder as he brought himself back to the here and now to look at Alexander and he couldn’t help the grin stretching his face. “Alexander, it worked!” 

Alec laughed, his whole face lighting up as he wrapped his arms around Magnus and spun him around. “Of course it did!” 

The blood magic spell power pulsed between them, a reminder of what it needed, what it demanded, and Magnus pulled Alec down and into a desperate kiss. A final step to seal it. Blood magics often demanded one thing in addition, and that was getting down and dirty in a way that both parties would thoroughly enjoy. 

With all of his runes active (and then some), it was easy to pick Magnus up by his thighs, shifting to let Magnus wrap his legs around his waist. Alec groaned into the kiss and was glad when the warlock tugged at him, pulling him in closer, until there was no space left between them. 

“Alexander.” It was a demand and a plea all in one. He wanted, fuck, he wanted everything Alec was willing to give him and more. 

Alec couldn’t help grinning, even as he leaned in for another kiss, feeling Magnus’ fingers tangle into his hair, pulling him in harder, demanding, needing more. He could feel it now, the press of the magic, tugging at them both. They had a role to fulfill. A celebration of the magic now singing happily through them both. 

“What do you say we put my runes to good use?” Alec whispered against Magnus’ lips, swallowing another groan from the warlock as he dropped to his knees on the bed of blankets and pillows Magnus had summoned for them in the ritual circle. 

Magnus groaned. His Shadowhunter was going to be the death of him. “I’d say you had better hurry up and get moving if you’re going to make good on that promise, Alexander.” 

"Why the rush?" Alec teased, rocking his hips to grind against Magnus, smirking as he arched back, a gasp leaving him. Like this, Magnus still straddling him, even while he was on his knees, and he didn't have enough leverage to make him do anything. Alec leaned in and sucked a mark into Magnus' throat and felt the pleased pulse of magic through them both. 

"Do you think I have the control to do any of that?" Magnus panted, tangling his fingers in Alexander's hair, giving them a harsh tug, just to hear Alec moan against his throat. He wasn't without his own ability to tease, after all. 

Alec hummed in consideration and tipped Magnus back and into the comfy pile of pillows and blankets, staring down at him. Now, more than ever, he was glad that Magnus had insisted on them wearing nothing more than boxer briefs. If he'd had to strip Magnus of all his usual accouterments, he would have ripped at least a few pieces of clothing. 

"Are you going to stare at me, or are you going to do something?" Magnus growled, reaching up to pull Alec down against him. Their lips crashed together like a wave and he groaned, trying to get a move on, because like this, both their bodies singing with the magic and the bond between the both of them, he wanted nothing more. 

"You're beautiful," Alec whispered, reaching up to cup Magnus' face, grinning when golden eyes blinked back at him between one moment and the next. "I want to see you, all of you while we do this. Because," he added, rocking his hips down to make Magnus moan all over again. "I am never going to leave you doubting how much I love you, and want you, ever again." 

Magnus huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. "I already know that." 

Alec hummed and shook his head, pressing a kiss to Magnus' forehead, then to both of his cheeks before kissing him again, hard enough to pin him to the blankets. He kissed Magnus, hard, deep and demanding until they broke apart panting before he did it all over again, and by the time he stopped, Magnus' lips were swollen and his eyes were glowing in the dark of the room. 

"Alexander?" Magnus whispered, licking his lips. 

"I don't think you do," Alec said, watching Magnus' tongue dart out across his lips again, even as gold eyes went wide in surprise. "I don't think you understand how much. And now that you can feel me, I'm going to make sure that you never forget again." It was an easy thing, maybe even easier than it should have been, to push at the bond between them, forcing it open so Magnus could feel him, feel everything that consumed him when he got to touch Magnus, kiss him, _love_ him. 

Magnus gasped, slamming his eyes shut as a wave of desire, _Alec's_ desire, washed over him, leaving him shaking and trembling. It wasn't only physical desire, it was tangled up in the want to be closer, to laugh together, to wake pressed together, it was love and lust twined so deeply together he didn't know where one ended and the other began. He pulled Alec in for another kiss, whining against his lips, needing more, needing to feel more, to feel him. 

"Do you get it now?" Alec asked, staring down at Magnus, rocking against his husband in a slow, easy roll of his hips. It was so easy to feel now, and they didn't need to rely on words that always seemed to get caught in his throat before he could use them properly, make Magnus understand how much he was _wanted._

"Alexander, please," Magnus panted, spreading his legs under the shadowhunter, allowing them to grind closer, tighter together. 

Alec smiled and pressed a kiss to Magnus' throat, sucking another mark next to the first. "I'm enjoying the turnabout on you." Like this, with the Stamina rune active, and the feel of magic around them, Alec knew that he was in charge of what they did tonight. Magnus felt the magic so much deeper than he did, and he'd warned that he might have trouble keeping control, and hell if they hadn't both loved that thought. 

Magnus huffed out a laugh. "I can tell." 

Alec hummed, licking his way down Magnus' collarbone, and glanced up at him with a smile. "Are you going to tell me what you want? Isn't that what you always make me do?" 

"Mmm," Magnus agreed, refusing to close his eyes. The sight of Alexander, his entire body covered in runes, his eyes still shining with that extra sheen of power, he wanted to memorize this for the remainder of his existence. He would never forget how beautiful Alec looked in this moment. "Yes, often. But that has more to do with you being shy." 

Alec glared at Magnus and bit down at the base of his neck, enjoying the choked off moan that got him. "I'm not shy. Well. Not anymore." 

Magnus laughed. "Alexander, you can't say you want a blowjob without blushing." 

"Well, that's because it's so _demanding, _and, I mean, I want you to want-" Alec huffed out a breath as Magnus pressed a finger to his lips and he couldn't help grinning. "I can at least say some stuff now." 

Magnus raised both eyebrows, and traced his fingertip along Alec's lips, enjoying the shiver that got him in response. "Oh? Care to demonstrate for me?" 

Alec swallowed and shifted, leaning up to kiss Magnus again. "I think I can manage that." He slowly ran his hands up the ridges of Magnus' abdomen, tracing the lines of his muscles, tugging him in closer, getting Magnus situated how he wanted. "Shall I tell you what I want to do to you tonight?" 

Magnus groaned and the magic gave another hard pulse between them. "Yes, please, tell me what you want. We can do it all. All of it." 

Alec shuddered and licked his lips, sucking in a deep breath. "I want, I want to fuck you," he said, stumbling only a little, meeting golden eyes as he said the words. It was easy to see Magnus' reaction, his pupils flaring wide. "And then," he continued. "I want to, uh, suck you, until you're hard again. And then ride you." 

Magnus blinked, his whole body shivering as the magic around them gave a pleased pulse, surging through them again, reminding them of why they needed to do this now, what was driving the desperation. "I'm not certain I'm going to survive this." 

Alec chuckled and pressed a kiss to Magnus' heart, looking up at him. "Didn't I say the same thing the first time you, ah," he felt his ears start to go red and groaned. "Fuck, I can say it, I swear." 

Magnus smiled and didn't remind Alexander that he had said that, more than once, as they worked through some of his firsts together. Though, he did think he remembered which one in specific that Alec was referencing this time. "You don't have to prove anything, you've told me what you want and," he added with a wave of his hand, a bowl of oil appearing next to them at the same time as the rest of their clothing disappeared. "I would personally like to enjoy that quite thoroughly." 

Alec huffed and narrowed his eyes. "I definitely said that the first time you mentioned wanting to r-rim me." He was proud of the fact that he only stuttered slightly. 

Magnus grinned and pulled Alec in for a kiss, nipping at his lower lip to get Alexander to groan into his mouth. "Why yes, I believe you did. And survive it you did." 

Alec snorted and rolled his eyes, pressing in close to Magnus again before he glanced at the bowl to their left. "Oil? Lube not good enough for the ritual?" 

Despite his efforts to remain serious, Magnus found himself bursting into laughter at the question. "Oil fits with the ritual better, in this case. I did, of course, ensure that it would be, ah, better than pure oil, of course." 

Alec's eyes narrowed and he sat up, reaching out to dip his fingertips into the oil, rubbing it slowly. "Magnus, are you telling me you, you, brewed your own lubricant?" 

Magnus gave Alec a haughty look. "Only the best for you, my love." 

Alec couldn't help the grin and rolled his eyes. "Hedonist," he teased, reaching out to drizzle the oil down Magnus' stomach, tracing a design against his skin as he trailed his fingertips lower. "I do appreciate it though, and I'm sure you will as well." 

"I will indeed," Magnus promised, his eyes fluttering shut with a gasp as Alec wrapped a hand around his cock, giving a slow stroke, teasing him, the oil adding to the slick movements of his hand. "But you have a great many plans for me, and getting a move on is not a bad idea." 

Alec hummed and gathered more oil on his fingers, wrapping his hand around Magnus again. The magic circling around them curled tighter and he could feel the approval in the air as it grew heavy between the both of them. He leaned up and nuzzled into Magnus' neck, inhaling the scent of sandalwood as he stroked Magnus slowly, teasing him. Magnus always loved to tease him when he did this. 

"Alexander," Magnus bit out, thrusting up and into Alec's hand, another whine escaping him. Then teeth were at his ear, sinking in, and fuck, Alec did know how to drive him crazy. "Please." 

"I'm going to love this," Alec whispered, panting into Magnus' ear as he twisted his hand along the top of Magnus' erection, listening to him gasp. "Because I know this is our first for the rest of forever. We can take our time. I don't have to try to do everything now, because we _have_ time." 

The truth of that statement hung in the air, drenched in power and Magnus couldn't help shuddering with the weight of it. Alexander was right. They did have forever, and could afford to take their time, to do whatever they needed. But now he was desperate for more, he needed Alec inside him, just like he wanted. 

Alec shifted and spread Magnus' legs slowly, taking a moment to admire him spread out beneath him. He didn't miss the way Magnus stared right back at him and Alec grinned. "You really do like me all covered in runes, don't you?" 

Magnus shivered and bit down on his lip, trailing his eyes along Alexander's body, catching on each of the runes, mentally reciting the ones that he knew. "It's that, of course, and it's..." he trailed off. 

Alec raised both of his eyebrows, pausing with his hands on Magnus' thighs. "Yes? Do go on." 

"You look how I imagine the Nephilim were always meant to look," Magnus explained. "A warrior angel, come to earth to save all creatures, slay demons, your body vibrating with power far beyond any understanding, commanding that power, using it for a sole purpose." 

Alec hummed, considering that before he grinned, shifting so he could press a hand between Magnus' legs. "And you like having the focus of that power on you?" 

Magnus groaned as Alec teased him with a single finger, even as he rocked his hips up, demanding, needing more from the shadowhunter. "I like that you wear the power made for you the way you do. I like that your body sings with it, and I like, even more, that I can _feel_ it," he gasped, his thighs flexing as Alec finally stopped teasing him. 

It was so easy to get lost in the sight of Magnus like this, lost in, and savoring, his pleasure. He did tease Magnus about being a hedonist, but some days it was true. Magnus did not hesitate to lose himself in whatever it was that he was feeling. It was incredible to watch, to be trusted with this. 

"See something you like?" Magnus teased, a gasp escaping as Alec added another finger, taking his time. He would have to make Alexander pay for all of this gentleness, he simply couldn't handle it. 

Alec flicked his eyes up to Magnus and pressed a kiss to Magnus' heart. "With you? _Always._" 

Magnus shivered and couldn't help rocking down on Alec's hand, especially when Alec finally shifted his fingers to the perfect angle. "Ah!" 

"There," Alec said, a smirk curling his lips as he kept up that angle, thrusting his fingers in and out of Magnus, just to watch him shudder and fall apart, clutching at the blankets around them in the summoning circle. He could even see, and feel, now, the blue tendrils of his magic curling around his fingertips. The magic between them responded to it, pulsing low and hard, driving him forward, demanding, wanting even more from them. 

"Alexander, please," Magnus begged, rocking his hips down again, his back arching off the blankets. He knew that when Alec had a mind to, he could tease for hours, but that was not what he needed right now. Thankfully, Alec understood, and when he pulled his fingers out on the next roll of his hips, there was a third pressing into him, making him bite down on his lip. 

"Easy, love," Alec soothed, pressing a kiss to Magnus' stomach, then another, then another. "Relax for me." 

Magnus nodded, breathing out slowly, glad when Alec took his time pressing his fingers deeper. "You can feel the magic getting heavier?" 

Alec smiled up at him and nodded. "It wants us to hurry up, yeah." 

"Well," Magnus gasped, his back arching again as Alec found his prostate, teasing him with gentle touches, making him tremble. "This might be one of the few instances where I suggest we follow its lead." 

Alec licked his lips and leaned up, pressing a kiss to the bead of sweat on Magnus' neck, sucking another mark into it, pressing his fingers deep. "You're almost ready." 

"Not like you can hurt me," Magnus quipped, rocking his hips down in a determined thrust. 

"Except like this, I actually could," Alec corrected, looking down at his runed body. It was harder to gauge than he would have liked, the roughness of his hands, how his fingers were likely going to leave bruises on Magnus' hips. 

"Darling," Magnus managed, a laugh bleeding into a moan. "Any bruises left on me from a truly spectacular round or two of sex are badges I will wear with _honor_, now please, could you get a move on?" 

Alec snorted and rolled his eyes, pressing his fingers into Magnus that much harder, just to watch him shout and arch, his hair flying as his head hit the pillows. He smirked and did it again, because seeing Magnus come undone for him was one of his favorite past times, especially like this. But, he could feel the pounding demand of the magic around them, and they couldn't resist the pull for long. 

Scooping more of the oil into his hand, Alec shifted into position when Magnus abruptly grabbed his hand, stealing the oil from it. "Magnus!" 

"What?" Magnus huffed, wrapping his hand around Alexander's cock, giving it a slow stroke. "You think I'm not going to repay some of your teasing?" 

Alec groaned and couldn't help rocking into the firm hold of Magnus' hand. Magnus always knew exactly how to touch him, how to make it perfect, and so good he could barely stand it. "Magnus..." 

Magnus groaned, pushing himself upright enough so he could kiss the very edges of the deflect rune that was calling to him. He was going to mark that up properly soon. He pulled his hand away and wrapped it around the back of Alec's neck, yanking him into another kiss, hard and desperate, all tongue and heat until they had to break apart for air and at the insistent tugs of the magic around them. 

"Ready?" Alec panted, shifting so Magnus was spread out under him again, a pillow under his hips. 

"Alexander," Magnus growled, his eyes flashing. 

Alec felt the weight of the power around them, and the demand from Magnus. Who was he to resist? Taking a deep breath (thank the angel for stamina runes), he positioned himself and slid in, inch by inch, devouring the sight of Magnus gasping and squirming underneath him, his whole body a line of tensed pleasure. The magic around them was growing in weight now, egging them on with more, demanding everything they had and more. 

Magnus sucked in a desperate breath when Alec finally stopped, his body held perfectly still, the epitome of a hunter in control. "Alec, Alexander, please," he begged, rolling his hips, trying to entice Alec into moving. He needed it, needed _Alec,_ more than he had ever needed anything in his life. 

"Don't worry," Alec promised, staring down at Magnus. "I love you." 

Magnus opened his mouth to respond, he did, but then Alec rolled his hips in a sinfully perfect movement and all he could do was moan. The magic around them felt like it was pouring into them both, pounding with the beating of their hearts as Alec finally, _finally_ started to move, to fuck him. 

"Magnus," Alec panted, his eyes going wide. "You're, uh," he shuddered as another wave of magic washed over him, shifting to plant his hands on either side of Magnus' shoulders, glad when Magnus got the message and long legs were immediately wrapped around his hips, keeping the angle he wanted. 

Magnus forced his eyes open and he realized that the feeling of the magic rushing into them was rather literal, blue and gold magic swirling around them both, sinking into their skin. Alec's runes were flaring gold, and blue sparks were running over his own skin. "Keep going," he ordered, groaning when Alec lowered his mouth to his neck, biting on the cords of his neck. 

"It's okay?" Alec whispered, gasping as Magnus rocked into the next thrust, his whole body shaking. He felt lightheaded, all he could feel was Magnus around him, and the magic in them both. 

Magnus gave a desperate nod, grabbing on to Alexander's shoulders, pulling him down into a kiss as Alec started to fuck him in earnest, chasing the end that the magic was urging them towards. It was intoxicating, feeling everything Alec was at the same time he could feel himself. 

Alec nodded and leaned down to kiss Magnus again, biting down on his lower lip to make Magnus moan, golden eyes flicking open to stare at him. He pressed their foreheads together and smiled, gentling his thrusts despite the rising pulse of magic around them both. "So beautiful." 

Normally, he'd be embarrassed about the keening noise that escaped him, at how desperately he clung to Alec's shoulders, but right now nothing felt wrong, or too much. Everything was perfect, because it was Alexander, and their magic was singing in the air between them, blue and gold twisting together as they moved. 

The magic was reaching a fever pitch, and Magnus could feel Alec responding to it, his whole body shaking with the effort of maintaining control. Magnus rocked into each thrust, urging Alec on, demanding more, demanding all of his husband, everything he had to give and more. There was nothing they wouldn't do for each other, or give up, and the magic sinking into them, consuming them, recognized that. 

"Magnus," Alec panted, shaking his head, tossing his hair out of his face. "I can't, I need you to," he swallowed, his mouth dry. He pushed himself upright with a quick shove, reaching out to yank Magnus' hips into his next thrust, Magnus arching off the blankets with a loud cry. 

"Yes, fuck!" Magnus swore, his body on fire with the new angle, how Alec always knew what he needed, how to take care of him in the best ways. Like this, it wouldn't take long, there was no way he could maintain control, over his magic, or his body. 

Alec whined and bit down on his lip, trying to hold back for just a little bit longer, trying to keep Magnus in this moment where he was lost to pleasure and the power of his magic. Blue flames and sparks danced around his body, his power out of control the same way his pleasure was. "Gotta, Magnus, you gotta..." he panted the words out, groaning with the next thrust, losing his ability to keep the steady pace he wanted as he chased the crest of power washing over them both. 

Wrapping a hand around himself sent the spiral of magic skyrocketing even higher and Magnus felt Alec echo his shout in the empty room. There was nothing for them now, nothing but this and the race to the edge as they moved together, bodies and magic just as desperate, just as needy. Gold and blue were entwined now, swirling around them both, pouring into them and out of them in equal measure, responding to their bond, and what they were to each other. 

When Alec's eyes met his, Magnus couldn't look away from everything in that look. Everything that he could _feel_ now. Love, lust, hope, happiness and a thousand emotions he didn't have a name for, all there in Alexander's eyes for him to trust in, to believe in, because even when there was nothing else, he would have Alec. He would have this. They'd have each other. 

Alec couldn't help but smile, caught up in staring at his husband, even as he felt the magic reach its peak, and he let his eyes fall shut, losing himself to all of it, to Magnus, to the one he loved more than life itself. 

The magic exploded, a violent eruption of blue and gold, consuming them both in a wave of magic that flooded the area around them before doubling back to wash into them again.

Magnus was distantly aware of clinging to Alec, his orgasm slamming into him with the wave of magic, and of shouting his name until his voice was hoarse until he fell back against the blankets. 

He didn't know how long it was before he finally drew in a desperate breath of air, his arm tight around Alexander's shoulders where his husband had slumped against him, panting against his chest. "Alexander?" 

"Was it," Alec coughed, fuck, his voice was hoarse. "Was it supposed to do that?" 

Magnus chuckled and stared up at the ceiling, taking a deep, relieved breath. "I have no idea. But I thought it might." 

Alec lifted his head and stared at Magnus with a raised eyebrow. "Is that why you drew the ritual circle?" 

Magnus nodded. "I didn't feel like rebuilding our bedroom after destroying it with our respective magics." 

Alec blinked and chuckled, rolling off of Magnus carefully to stretch out beside him, grinning. "Would that have actually happened?" There was still a slow pulse of magic in the room, a hint of the inferno that it could grow to, all over again, if they wanted. 

Magnus hummed and leaned back against the pillows. "Probably? That was a lot of magic." 

Alec was silent for a long few minutes before he wrapped an arm around Magnus, pulling him in closer, nuzzling into his neck. "Is the spell complete now?" 

"Yes," Magnus said, waving his hand in the air. "It's still here, of course. You know, if you want to follow your original plan." 

"Even those of us with stamina runes need a second to recover from that," Alec muttered, idly pressing another kiss to Magnus' neck. 

Magnus laughed, even though he knew that he shouldn't have. He was tired, but also not. His magic felt deeper, stronger somehow, now that it was tied to Alec's like this. Like their magic was a part of each other, just like they were now. 

"What's so funny?" Alec huffed, lifting his head to meet Magnus' eyes. 

"I can feel you," Magnus told him. 

Alec smirked, raising both of his eyebrows. "I should hope so, after that." 

Magnus was not going to laugh at horrible sex jokes from his husband. He was not. He refused. "Your _magic,_ darling. Your runes. I can, I can feel them, now. What they do to you, and even the residual effects." 

Alec blinked in surprise, tilting his head as he looked at Magnus, his eyes trailing down and across his body. "Really?" 

Magnus nodded. "Mmmhmm. You can probably feel my magic too. Maybe even wield it with some practice." 

Alec grinned, shifting to kiss Magnus, leaning into the kiss, pulling him in close. "Izzy will be jealous." 

Magnus gave Alec a swift swat to the ass, glaring at him when he laughed. "I tell you that we are magically bound and the first thing you think of is your sister being jealous?" 

Alec rolled his eyes at the fake dramatics and tugged Magnus on top of him, staring up at him happily, even with the grumpy look Magnus gave him. "You know that wasn't my first thought." 

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell. What was your first thought, Alexander?" 

Alec stared up at him and smiled. "First thought was that I already knew that." 

Magnus blinked. He tilted his head and stared curiously down at Alec. "You...what?" 

"Magnus," Alec said, biting down a laugh. "You need to look at yourself." 

Magnus caught sight of an outline on his arm and his eyes widened. "Is that...?" 

Alec nodded, reaching out, tracing his fingers over the rune, following the pattern easily. "You're feeling their power for this reason, I think. Not sure how that happened."

“It’s not like there’s a manual for this,” Magnus said, tracing his fingertips over the angelic power rune on his body. “We’ll have to make it up as we go along.” 

“We have time,” Alec whispered, his eyes bright as he tugged his husband in for a kiss. He felt the rightness, the certainty of that in his very bones, now. “Magnus, we have  _ time _ , now. To figure it out. And, anything else.” 

Magnus licked his lips and grinned. “Well, what do you say we finish off that admittedly excellent plan of yours you mentioned earlier?” Alec’s answering laugh and eager nod made his heart sing, even as he was yanked into another, more insistent kiss. 

“You read my mind.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnus totally brewed his own lube. Just saying.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here:  
[AriaLerendeair](https://arialerendeair.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And on twitter over here:  
[Aria_Lerendeair](https://twitter.com/Aria_Lerendeair)
> 
> Want to come hang out in a Shadowhunters Discord server?  
[Join Us Here!](https://discord.gg/A9CEA2G)


End file.
